Suspect #1: Coconut

Four days after the Christmas Eve Meltdown of 2011 and the ensuing immuno-shutdown sequence, my skin's clear and silky smooth, save a few craters I dug during the onslaught.

After eating a dish with coconut and nothing else that would be a likely allergen, I got painfully bloated. And as the old saying goes, as the digestive tract goes, so goes the skin. Yea, no one says that. But I used to use coconut oil before I tried Vaseline, and it was hive city. And where there's one nut allergy, there's bound to be others. And nuts seem to be in every other moisturizer.

You know, as much as I'm not fond of petroleum-based products, can I give a shout out to Vaseline? Greasy and inconvenient as it is, it's the only moisturizer that has been non-reactive enough to soothe my skin. Apparently it's been a Hollywood anti-aging beauty secret for years -- some women apply it every night to seal in moisture. Only reason I stumbled upon it was because I noticed it was the common ingredient in my steroidal ointment, Blistex medicated lip balm, and Neosporin, three things that soothed my skin more than any lotion, especially ones with lanolin and coconut oil.

So I'm covered in it now, since it's easier to keep skin at a baseline of health with moisturizer once it's healed than it is to bring it back from the brink. But I'm fighting the phantom psychosomatic itches and waiting for the impending flare-up. I haven't scratched in days. Haven't thought about it.

I saw a Vaseline ad the other day that totally had my number. It said something like "the beauty of healthy skin is not having to think about it at all." I know I'm easy, but I nearly broke down. When it's working, you forget it's there. Health is a privilege. Like Ani's "headache that you don't know that you don't have." When it's not working, sometimes it's all you can think about.